Friday, October 29, 2010

Awesome things I've heard

At hockey (a non-checking league):
[Logan gets the puck stolen from him]
teammate: LOGAN, BACKCHECK!!!
Yeah. How about no.

In math the new TA taught the lesson:
TA: it very difficult to find something that does not exist. You can't find a blue elephant if it doesn't exist.

Also in math, talking about his website:
TA: here's the website. Or if you google me- and I don't do that of course- i'm the third on the list.

In the caf, this guy says in a menacing, angry voice:
Guy: I'll get a tray.
(this only makes sense if you've seen eddie izzards standup about the death star canteen.

And a funny thing that happened:
We were losing 2-4 so we pulled the goalie.
The other team proceeded to score on the empty net from centre ice.
The goalie went back in the net after that.

I don't get what happened...

I had a gray towel. Now it's got orange all over it.

I have no earthly idea what happened.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

We Need New Holidays

I have some suggestions for new Canadian holidays.

National Act Like America Day: where all stores open at 7 AM and close at 10PM; any places that sell coffee and such must open at 5AM and close at 11:30.

National Hockey Day: Because it is awesome.

National Bus Drivers Day: becacuse they are such awesome, nice people.
*By the way, I was on a bus, and the bus driver went on the PA system thing to say "We have a special request... happy birthday to Jessie!" It was awesome.

Captain Appreciation Day: because our hockey captains have such stressful lives.

National Other Kinds Of Hockey Day: A shoutout to the other kinds, which, of course, exist to supplement ice hockey. Where would we be, without ball hockey to improve our stickhandling?

World Languages Day: Because my psych teacher just said "Zeitgbers" like "Zeetgbers", and that is wrong. Very wrong. There should be a day dedicated to learning basic pronunciation of a lot of languages.

Sun Appreciation Day: Where everyone goes and has a picnic outside.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Things my econ profesor hates

Here are the things that, as far as we can tell, my econ professor hates:

1. Americans
2. SUV's
3. Having an excess supply of hula hoops (seems Denmark or someone had a problem with that)
4. Americans
5. Technology. All of it.
6. That includes batteries
7. Americans
8. Engineers. (apparantly they're know-it-alls)
9.  People who come in late to class (but only on odd-numbered days, and only on days with an odd number of consonants)
10. Americans
11. Schedules (as deduced by us through his stubborn decision to never, ever follow one)
12. Americans.

You'd think that someone like this could give an interesting lecture.

He can't.

Googling is fun

Someone online said they were testing to see if Google or Yahoo is better by searching the phrase "candy canes are" and seeing what each search engine filled in as a suggestion; Google said "candy canes are the bones of rejected elfs". And that was so interesting, they didn't even try yahoo.
So, naturally, I decided to try it. I type in "Candy canes are" and what does google suggest?

"Candy canes are you mocking me"

With some things, you just don't even know what to say.

Monday, October 18, 2010

psych book says:

Another wonderful edition of Psych Book Says:

"Early humans disposed to eat nourishing rather than poisonous food survived to contribute their genes to later generations. Those who deemed leopards 'nice to pet' often did not"

Some awesome quotes

While sitting in on (read: hiding in the top row of a class I'm not enrolled in just to use the outlets) a visual art class:
"You'll get to print your piece- but it's disappointing. The screen glows at you- and ink doesn't."
and then later,
"It's all in your magic layers."
After going to math tutoring with my friend she said:
"He's so awesome, it's like he's making up for all the awful tutors out there. He is our gift from God!"

My roomie, on being late for class:
"I am known for being late to class- but not late, because I never miss any information. I sit down right before they start."

About our econ professor:
"He just hates Americans. Now he says we drove SUV's just because someone told us to? Well he's just jealous that we understand capitalism."

My econ professor:
"See, that's why I don't show the calculations... there's a mistake... but there, let's move on, and forget it happened. It's not the end of the world."
(2 classes previously:
"So I made a mistake, it's not the end of the world")

My floormate:
"I don't remember what I did, but people are telling me things- I'm sorry for whatever you witnessed."

My friend in creative writing:
"I heard Vanier has waffles. We should get some sometime....  Let's go today!"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

my psych book is awesome

Talking about how every time there's a fact proven, there's bound to be some personal story that is dramatic and contradicts it...
"Numbers can be numbing, but the plural of anecdote is not evidence"


Nothing makes sense about midterms. I think my professors need to be informed of a few key components to a midterm:

1) It is halfway through the term. That means you cannot have two. Halfway through the term is the end of October. Not beginning October and also middle November.

2) Having two chapter tests on Friday and a midterm on Monday is cruel.

3) 5 problems on the midterm? FIVE? I've never even seen e to the negative x and have no hope of finding the derivative and that question alone is half of one question?

4) Scaling the grades helps no one when some stupid over-achiever gets 100%.

5) Giving hints like "there is a short-answer question on the brain." Gee thanks. That's only the most complex thing KNOWN TO HUMANKIND. I'll be sure to study, what, everything?

Not to be pessimistic, here are a few things that turned out well. (Mostly because the teachers didn't realize they're awesome. No doubt they would be taken away if they realized).

1) Midterm review sessions by the calc TA. An hour and a half review, offered to the entire class of 300 people. Two of us showed up. Private tutoring!

2) If you finish early, you can leave. And study for another midterm. Not sit around staring at the wall and second-guessing your answers like after the AP exams.

3) No class after the midterm; 3 hour classes are over in 2 hours!

4) Creative writing midterm- what midterm? Even better, what final exam?

5) Being an Arts major- didn't have time to study for French because of calc, go take the test on existing knowledge and you've still got a good chance. This works because being fluent in French counts as studying. You can't be "fluent in chemistry."

6) Watching science students memorize things they never use in daily class. In French, we're being tested on grammar structures. She explained the test using said grammar structures. Practice makes awesome.

All that being said.... I'd still rather not have a midterm. But I'm clearly not running a university.

If I did, the cafeteria would have hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Some pictures and things

Here are some pictures of the awesome library at night! More to follow later...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Optimistic radio station...

"This looks like a great weekend for a movie- nothing but rain all weekend!"
This is what I call overly enthusiastic optimism.
AKA, trying too hard.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Friday, October 8, 2010

I need a dictionary...

sorry this bus is out of service- next wicket please- we're making pahsta - what's the prohsessor speed?- I've got a physics package for homework - formatting mistakes cost you one mark - it's in the bayg over there- in her knapsack- nice weather eh? -I'll phone him- hullow?- sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry

Also, people hold open doors here. Not just if you're walking through right behind them. People actually kind of linger and hold the door open until you get there.

Fascinating stuff...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Captain's Log, stardate 64224.2

Captain's Log, stardate 64224.2

For future reference, the stardate is calculated correctly, as was referenced.

Observations were of a peculiar nature today, and are as follows:

-Raccoons are often seen in the daytime; this is not typical of other locations, but this has happened with some frequency at the current location.

-While en route to check postal correspondance, came across an art gallery; there were a variety of pieces displayed, including Van Gough's Starry Night. Did not purchase one, but am considering finding a Da Vinci poster at another location, i.e. online.

-There appears to be an elevator-like instalment outside one of the Buchannan buildings.

The following should also be noted:
-Have begun texting a friend in French to improve xenolinguistics
-Have commenced studying Russian, although reading vocabulary is currently at 1 word.
-The weather is fairly cold; the weather report is not to be trusted.

For the record, it should be noted that no other officers have been added to the crew currently; applications are still being accepted. Said applications should include name, and any applicable skills.

To be continued at a following stardate.

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Dear Canadian phone company,
       Why don't I deserve to be given caller ID? Thanks for the confidence in my psychic powers, but this is ridiculous.
Sincerely, who just called me?

Dear Tim Horton's,
       There's thing we have in the states. It's called capitalism. Basically, to make a profit, you have to be open. Which means your 4:30 closing time has got to go.
Sincerely, and you were doing so well against Starbucks, too...

Dear library circulation desk,
        It's 6 o'clock on a Friday. I'm trying to study. I need to check out a book. What, are you trying to tell me to give up and go party? I'm going to study, no thanks to you.
Sincerely, what good do eight million books do me if I can't check them out?

Dear weather,
    Hey, heads up, it's not even winter yet. Lay off with the cold. And that whole deal with freezing wind with sunshine? We call that mean.
Sincerely, I don't know whether I need a jacket or sunscreen

Dear caf at residences,
    Class starts at six and ends at nine. Closing at 7:30 on a weekday leaves me starving. And you wonder why Whitespot and Pointe Grill do so well?
Sincerely, no one eats before seven

Dear people with 8AM classes,
    So you're the ones who take all the chocolate croissants at the caf before I wake up. Way to share.
Sincerely, guess I can't complain when I wake up at 9 every day

Dear gym,
    No one goes at 6:30 in the morning. So what if you're open that early? All it does is make us all feel bad about not going.
Sincerely, maybe I'll wake up early tomorrow

Dear econ TA,
    Please, please, please don't change the prices in the problem halfway through without telling us. We have no idea why the cost suddenly went from $200 to $350. While you're at it, why not try finishing the problem, too?
Sincerely, this is why you lost half the class

Dear Canadian friends,
    YES, actually, it IS very, very COLD today!
Sincerely, I might get cold easily but at least I TAN in the sun!

*concept stolen from

Friday, October 1, 2010

By the way...

Calculus is starting to look a lot like A Thousand And One Nights. Instead of a story within a story within a story, there's a derivativee within a derivative of a function. I like the stories better.

I've decided I would like to speak Russian one day. As well as French and German and Italian. I'm already... let's see... a fourth and a bit of the way there!

Tim Horton's is so much better than Starbucks. How is it that the USA can function without these stores? They have an adorably tiny drink size! And it's so good! And also, get this- a small iced capp was less than $3. And it tastes way better, too. Eat that, Starbucks.

My trend of laptop naming is catching on. I forced my friend to name his laptop, and my friend wants to name hers. Seriously, it makes the computer work better.

I went to Art History class yesterday. Econ had ended, and we wanted to get more work done, so we just stayed and worked during the lecture. Half of it was interesting. The other half was boring.

There's ice skating tonight!