The title makes it seem like I've done this before. Except I haven't, so.
Movie Review #475 (Everyone's favourite weekly update!):
(Yeah, that was a lie).
I just watched Flicka 2! Jamie made me do it. And here are all the reasons I hated it!
1. The chick. Oh, man, I hated the chick. She kept sassing everyone! She sassed her dad, even!
2. The fact that they keep on saying "Flicka means 'beautiful girl'. IT DOESN'T. It means GIRL. Just girl. No "beautiful". JUST. GIRL. It's Swedish. I know that word in Swedish. THIS MOVIE IS BUILT ON A LIE.
3. Also, why didn't they name the baby horse Pojke? That means boy. We could lie some more and say it means "handsome boy" BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THIS MOVIE DOES. IT LIES.
4. The chick! Again! She drives me crazy! She was SO MEAN to that poor guy! He kissed her, and then she goes "You're a hick!" ooooh, country burn.
5. The guy! He's like TWENTY FOUR and the chick is like FIFTEEN. No. No. No.
6. The guy takes her back! She insults him to his face, and he ignores her for about twenty minutes, then he wants to be besties again! HAVE YOU NO SELF RESPECT?
7. The chick breaking the rules! Breaking the law! Someone ought to send her to military school so she'll learn rule following.
8. The fact that she learns to horseback ride in like, two days.
9. And hello, she called him a hick to his face! (This did, however, inspire The Hick Rule. If I ever date someone from the midwest, my sister is not allowed to refer to him as a hick. That's the rule).
Anyways. Here's all the things I liked about Flicka 2!
I couldn't think of anything. Well, the dude was pretty cool. So there's that.